OUTTIE

OFF TO NEW ORLEANS. CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I STAYED IN ONE PLACE FOR SO LONG. ALL I WANT IS A CLEAR HEAD.

BIG WILLY STYLE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG GUY! I LOVE YOU...

HUM

THAT TIME'A YEAR...

BONUS: A TRUNCATED VERSION, BUT LISTEN TO THAT FEEDBACK.

ATTN:

LISTEN BUDDY, YOU CAN CHURCH UP THE NAME OF YOUR COMPANY ALL YOU WANT (OOOH, OAK HARBOR FREIGHT LINES, HOW REFINED) AND TRY TO ACT LIKE YOU'RE GOING FOR SOME KIND OF "AUTUMN IN ROCHESTER" VIBE WITH THE ARTWORK BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT YER DRIVING AROUND IN A TRUCK WITH FIVE GIANT RASTAFARIAN VAGINAS ON IT. WAY TO GO, CHAMP.

DEAR JESSE

PLEASE STOP DRINKING.

LOVE, JESSE.

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

CAN'T BELIEVE MARC'S GETTING MARRIED. WHAT AM I DOING? I'M LOSING IT. TOO MUCH DEWAR'S AND TOO MANY OLD NATIONAL GEOGRAPHICS. I'M GONNA BE FINE, OK? OK, OK, OK, OK.

SUN ARAW! DUCKTAILS! TONIGHT!!

IF YR NOT GOING TO THIS TONIGHT, YR PRETTY SORRY!!

GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH: "HIP"

I DID A GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH OF THE WORD "HIP" AND THIS IS WHAT CAME UP:

MEDITATION ON POPULAR CULTURE

ARE YOU THERE BLOG?? IT'S ME, ___________

HEY THERE BLOGGY. I'M FEELING A LITTLE OUT OF SORTS TODAY. WRITING IN SOME SORT OF PUBLIC DIARY ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL A LITTLE BETTER (MORE RELEVANT/RESOLVED/CONNECTED TO PEOPLE) SO I THOUGHT I'D JUST CHECK IN TO SAY "WHAT'S UP" (LIKE THE FOUR NON BLONDES). ANYWAYS, LIKE I SAID, I'M JUST FEELING A LIL CONFUSED... KEEP HEARING ABOUT THIS DUDE NAMED KANYE WEST WHO DID SOME CRAZY ZANY STUFF AT THE ACADEMY AWARDS... I GUESS KANYE GOT UPSET THAT DESTINY'S CHILD DIDN'T WIN FOR A MOVIE CALLED "DREAMGIRLS" AND SO HE STORMED THE STAGE AND DECLARED THAT LEANN RIMES (WHO HAD APPARENTLY JUST WON BEST FEMALE VOCALS FOR THAT SONG FROM "CON AIR" THAT'S PLAYING AFTER NICHOLAS CAGE STABS THAT GUY OUTSIDE OF THE BAR AND HE KNOW'S HE'S FUCKED AND HE'S GOING TO JAIL AND HE'S GETS ALL CONTEMPLATIVE THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH HE'S GOING TO MISS HIS LIL HUMMINGBIRD) DIDN'T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE AND THAT DESTINY'S CHILD WAS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT/INFLUENTIAL BANDS OF ALL TIME [VIA P2K] AND APPARENTLY LEANN RIMES WAS SO SHOOK UP SHE COULDN'T EVEN FINISH HER SPEECH. 

INSANE THAT THEY SENT NICK TO JAIL... IT WAS SELF DEFENSE, DUH CUSAK. 

WTF BLOG?? WTF IS GOING ON IN THE WORLD OF "POPULAR CULTURE"? I FEEL LIKE EVERYBODY IS TRYING TO MAKE A BIG SCENE OR SOMETHING. LIKE NOBODY CAN CHILL OR WHATEVER. IS THIS SOME KINDA POST-BUSH/OBAMA THING? MAINLY, I'M JUST FEELING KINDA DISCONNECTED. FEELING LIKE I KINDA MISS THE OLD DAYS WHEN I WAS EXCITED TO JUST SIGN ONLINE AND CHECK OUT A COUPLE OF MAJOR CELEBLOGS... SEE WHAT BRITNEY WAS UP TO AND HAVE A LIL LAUGH... FEEL LIKE I HAVEN'T FELT THE EXCITEMENT THAT I USED TO FEEL WHEN A NEW CELEB CROTCHSHOT OR NIPSLIP TURNED UP ON THE DUDE FROM FIGHT CLUB'S BLOG... I'M JUST FEELING COMPLETELY DISCONNECTED FROM THE CURRENT STATE OF "POP CULTURE" AND I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED... I FEEL LIKE THERE WAS I TIME WHEN I WAS TOTALLY CONNECTED TO ONE UNIVERSAL CONSCIOUSNESS VIA STARBUCKS / AIRPORTS / US WEEKLY / REALITY TELEVISION SHOWS (AND MTV IN GENERAL) / LIKING MAINSTREAM POP SONGS IRONICLY / READING THE DA VINCI CODE ON A VACAY / SOCIAL NETWORKING / BUZZ BANDS / TALKING SHIT ON PEOPLE / DESIGNER DOGS / CELEB + MUSIC GOSSIP BLOGS / AWARD SHOWS... KINDA WISH IT WAS STILL THAT SIMPLE. I FEEL LIKE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO IS POPULAR + RELEVANT ANYMORE... I HEAR A LOT ABOUT LADY DI'S REPLACEMENT, LADY GAGA, BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER (LIKE IF SHE IS A HUMANITARIAN / SEXY / ACTUALLY A CHICK) AND DON'T KNOW IF IT WOULD BE A MAJOR DEFINING MOMENT IN CONTEMPORARY POP CULTURE IF SHE DIED... 

STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU THREE DAYS LATER : /

SPEAKING OF DYING, I HEARD ABOUT A FAMOUS DUDE NAMED PAT SWAYZE WHO JUST DIED OF SMOKING DISEASE... APPARENTLY HE HAD A HEART OF GOLD AND WASN'T AFRAID TO PLAY SENSITIVE YET HARDASS CHARACTERS WHO PLAYED BY THEIR OWN RULES AND MOLESTED YOUNG JEWISH GIRLS... HEARD THAT THE BAND STEELY DAN WROTE A SONG ABOUT HIM CALLED "THE BODHISATTVA" THAT YOU CAN PLAY ON THE ROCK BAND... I ALSO HEARD ABOUT HOW THE BEATLES FINALLY PUT OUT SOME NEW ALBUMS AND DEBUTED THEM ON ROCK BAND... I FEEL LIKE THAT'S SOMETHING THAT CAN CONNECT CONTEMPORARY POP CULTURE TO BOOMER POP CULTURE (THE ONLY REAL TRUE + AUTHENTIC + RELEVANT POP CULTURE, ACCORDING TO BOOMERS) AND MAYBE EVEN HELP TO "SHATTER THE GENERATION GAP" BETWEEN THE BOOMS + THE MILLENNIALS... 

THINK I MIGHT THROW A "ROCK BAND" THEMED PARTY...

BUT I DIGRESS... READING THE P2K HAS HELPED ME A LOT WITH RECONCILING MY LOST CONNECTION TO POPULAR CULTURE AS WELL AS HELPING ME TO ANSWER THE QUESTIONS OF "HOW DID I GET HERE?" ( - DAVID BYRNE) AND "WHERE DO [I] GO FROM HERE" ( - THE BLINKS, IMPORTANT POP-PUNK CULTURE ICONS) ETC... THE P2K REMINDED ME OF ALL THOSE PAST MOMENTS WHEN I FELT CONNECTED TO THE REST OF THE WORLD (WHITES) VIA POP SONGS... WHO COULD EVER FORGET THE UNADULTERATED + LIBERATING + THRILLING FEELING OF HEARING "SINCE U BEEN GONE" FOR THE FIRST TIME... BETTER YET WAS SEEING THE VIDEO FOR THE FIRST TIME AND REMEMBERING THE STING OF YOUR FIRST HEARTBREAK... AND REMEMBERING HOW YOU LEARNED HOW TO BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME... IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I GOT THAT KIND OF FEELING FROM A SONG. BUT I THINK THAT PEOPLE JUST CHANGE - I KNOW FOR SURE THAT I HAVE. I AM WISTFUL ABOUT MY PAST BUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE ASSIMILATED INTO ADULTHOOD IN AN ORGANIC/INDIE FASHION... I FEEL LIKE I HAVE JUST KINDA SETTLED DOWN A LITTLE BIT, AND THAT THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE HAVE BECOME REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME... LIKE ALL OF A SUDDEN, REALITY TELEVISION JUST DOESN'T SEEM VERY RELEVANT... SEEMS KINDA LIKE SOMETHING THAT POOR PEOPLE + BORING GIRLS WATCH TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES... I FEEL LIKE I HAVE GOTTEN MUCH MORE AUTHENTIC IN MY TASTES... GUESS AS I'M GROWING UP, MY PALETTE HAS GOTTEN MUCH MORE REFINED... FEEL LIKE I HARDLY CONNECT TO PEOPLE TO PEOPLE VIA SOCIAL NETWORKING ANYMORE (DOES LURKING COUNT?) AND THAT I'M OUT LIVING LIFE AND ENJOYING WHAT THE WORLD HAS TO OFFER... FEEL LIKE MY DAYS OF READING SNARKY GOSSIPS BLOGS ARE FINALLY BEHIND ME AND I CAN SETTLE INTO MY NEW AUTHENTIC LIFE. THINK I MIGHT BUY SOME FLANNEL SHIRTS TO SHOW THAT I'M NOT THINKING TOO MUCH ABOUT FASHION AND START LISTENING TO MORE OLDER MUSIC... SEEMS LIKE MUSIC WAS MORE AUTHENTIC WHEN IT WASN'T "TOTALLY FUCKING EASY TO MAKE ON A COMPUTER" AND BANDS LIKE THE BEATLES WERE LO-FI AND USING FOUR TRACKS... THINK I MIGHT CRAIGSLIST A TASCAM AND TRY TO JUMP ON THIS WHOLE "LO-FI" THING THAT I THINK THE BEATLES/WAVVES ARE KINDA PIONEERING... 

WHICH ALBUM MAKES BETTER USE OF AN 8-TRACK ANALOG RECORDER / IS MORE REPRESENTATIVE OF THE LO-FI MOVEMENT??

IT'S JUST WEIRD... I KNOW I'VE GOT A LOT OF BIG/IMPORTANT THINGS/FEELINGS TO EXPRESS BUT SOMETIMES YR JUST CAUGHT BETWEEN SO MANY CONFLICTING TRENDS... I JUST WANT TO WAKE UP TOMORROW, LISTEN TO KIIS FM AND READ A LIL GOSSIP... I'M SICK OF FEELING DISCONNECTED FROM POPULAR CULTURE... I FEEL LIKE DEEP DOWN INSIDE I'M DRIVEN BY MY CHILDHOOD INNOCENCE AND NOW I AM A BETTER + MORE AUTHENTIC PERSON BECAUSE OF IT. I WILL NOT READ GOSSIP BLOGS. I WILL NOT WATCH AWARD SHOWS. I WILL NOT FLY PLACES. I WILL NOT GO TO CONCERTS. I WILL NOT WATCH REALITY TELEVISION. I WILL NOT DOWNLOAD MP3S. I WILL NOT BUY CLOTHES WITH (TOO OBVIOUS OF) AN IDENTIFIABLE BRAND. I WILL NOT SHOP AT IKEA. I WILL NOT HAVE A MICHAEL JACKSON / PATRICK SWAYZE MEMORIAL MARATHON OR ANY SORT OF 80'S THEMED PARTY. I WILL NOT HANG OUT IN HOLLYWOOD. I WILL NO LONGER SHROUD MYSELF IN IRONY. I WILL BE SINCERE. I WILL BE REAL. I WILL BE AUTHENTIC. I WILL SING LIKE NOBODY IS LISTENING. I WILL CONNECT VIA BEING OUTDOORS / LISTENING TO VINYL. I WILL WEAR DRAB COLORS. I WILL NOT CRY WHEN A CELEBRITY DIES. I WILL NOT COLOR MY HAIR. I WILL SETTLE DOWN AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE LIL INDIE KIDS AND LIVE IN A RURAL AREA SOMEWHERE WHERE I CAN MAKE MUSIC + RELEASE IT ON VINYL. I WILL LOOK FORWARD INSTEAD OF LOOKING BACK ON THE YEARS THAT I WAS AN ASSHOLE WITH NOSTALGIA (JUST KIDDING). MOST IMPORTANTLY, I WILL CONTINUE TO BE AS AUTHENTIC AS I CAN POSSIBLY BE IN MY CLOTHING + LIFESTYLE CHOICES. 

I'M GLAD THAT AT LEAST WHENEVER I AM IN A PSEUDO-EXISTENTIAL + REFLECTIVE MOOD I CAN SHARE IT WITH THE WHOLE WORLD (WHOEVER LURKS MY SHIT). THANKS FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME, INTERNET. YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND + MY ONE TRUE LOVE, BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS LOVE ME BACK. THAT'S WHY I TAKE SO MANY PICTURES OF MYSELF - I'M GLAD THAT I CAN BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD AND BE ABLE TO OPEN UP MY MACBOOK AND SEE MYSELF STARING BACK AT ME. I AM ME. I AM THE FUTURE. I AM FREE. GOD BLESS AMERICA.

IT DOESN'T MATTER

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU JUST BOUGHT A FRESH BENTLEY!!

SET THE RICH ON FIRE AND STEAL THEIR SHOES

PRINCESS DI

SO I WAS AT THE SWAP MEET TODAY AND I CAME ACROSS THIS REALLY SWEET PICTURE OF PRINCESS DI AND PRINCE CHARLES FROM 1981. I WAS STARING AT IT FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES BEFORE THE OLD FILIPINO LADY WHO RAN THE BOOTH CAME UP TO ME AND SAID "THAT'S PRINCE CHARLES AND PRINCESS DI... THAT WAS A SAD DAY" AND I WAS LIKE "YEAH... THAT KINDA WAS A SAD DAY" AND I TOTALLY REMEMBERED WHERE I WAS WHEN I HEARD THE NEWS (IN FRONT OF ST. MARY'S, FROM MY MA) AND SO I ASKED HER HOW MUCH SHE WANTED FOR THE PICTURE AND SHE TOLD ME "MMM... TEN DOLLARS" AND I SAID "TEN DOLLARS?? SERIOUSLY? HOW ABOUT TWO? I'LL GIVE YOU TWO DOLLARS FOR THIS PICTURE" AND SHE JUST THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND AND SAID "MMM... NO. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL" AND JUST TOTALLY WALKED AWAY... DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO BOTHER WITH BARTERING WITH ME FOR IT. YOU GOTTA KINDA RESPECT THAT. BUT THEN, OF COURSE, AFTER BEING HOME FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS I WAS STARTING TO REALLY WISH I HAD JUST SHELLED OUT THE TEN BUCKS AND BOUGHT THE PICTURE... AND SO THE WOLFF CAME OVER AND AFTER I LAMENTED THE WHOLE STORY TO HIM HE WAS JUST LIKE "MAN, IT'S 2009. YOU CAN GET THEM SHITS OFF THE INTERNET AND PRINT IT OUT YOURSELF". TAKE THAT, LADY.

NEVER FORGET

YESSS

THE DETROIT PISTONS GETTING FUCKED UP IN NBA JAM: TOURNAMENT EDITION BY AN ALL-STAR TEAM OF BILL CLINTON AND MIKE D... SUCK ON THAT, TERRY MILLS!!

POST SATURDAY MORNING

I MEANT TO THROW ALL OF THIS UP ON SATURDAY MORNING BUT THEN I GOT DRUNK AND WENT TO FUCK YEAH FEST (A.K.A. FUCKING WEAK FEST) AND GOT SUNBURNED AND FELL ASLEEP. BUT THIS THIS IS HOW I SPENT SATURDAY MORNING (THE HEAT IS A BITCH, NOBODY I KNOW CAN SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT)...

YES PLEASE

1080

ROB HAYWOOD VERSUS ROB HAYWOOD... CRYSTAL PEAK!

I CAN'T STAND MYSELF

THE DEEPSEA GOES

CAN'T IMAGINE THERE'S ANYBODY WHO READS THIS THING THAT DOESN'T ALREADY KNOW ABOUT THESE GUYS, BUT IF YOU DON'T AND YOU LIKE YR SHIT LOUD (AND IF YOU DON'T, YR A PUSSY) THAN GO DOWNLOAD THIS NEW RECORD. THEY HAVE A CUTE LIL 'PAY WHAT YOU WANT' OPTION JUST IN CASE YR A DICK WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE IN KARMA. OR YOU CAN DONATE TEN BUCKS TOWARDS PAUL'S SEX CHANGE OPERATION, IT'S REALLY YR CALL. TURN IT ON AND TURN IT UP. GO SEE THEM LIVE AND HURT YR EARS. YOU'LL BE STOKED THAT YOU DID. BONGS UP DUDES.

THE DEEPSEA GOES - ORAONEIROI

BEN GAZZARA

EFFORTLESSLY COOL:

FROM 'KILLING OF A CHINESE BOOKIE' (OBVIOUSLY)

MOHAMMED'S RADIO MEDITATION

 but i couldn't remember what i was thinking about when i woke up so i walked around back and forth up and down the hall looked out the windows for awhile and read a book, not mine, called i and jahrastafari while i drank tecates from the night before and smoked some of my cigarettes just kind of hanging around this gravel pit... and i'm there with her in ensenada and i'm here in echo park and i started to get very depressed when i couldn't find the dodger game on the radio - it's hard enough to even find a radio lately, try going to somebody's house and asking if you can borrow their radio... but basically soon anyways after two of the tecates i started to feel a little bit better in that sense that my guts didn't feel too nuts anymore and i was able to calm down a little bit and focus on the book, a different book, pynchon, har har - remember years ago trying to read gravity's rainbow as i slugged across england thinking i would like to feel some connection - but here i am, tired and bored and as boring as ever and i would at least like to be able to say i don't have a cellular phone but i do, i have one and thinking about it got me so bummed out that i remember what i had been thinking about when i woke up, i remembered, i was thinking about something i had been thinking about the night before - the night before i couldn't remember exactly everything about everywhere i was but i know i had listened to the dodgers and they had lost, the bums, after a solid four inning lead and it was still a really great night in the sense that the air was really nice and warm and it was sometime in the early part of the week and i was in somebody's passenger seat driving somewhere and drinking modelos that had gotten warm in the car throughout the night - i was drinking and drinking and when i woke up my guts had felt nuts and i had wanted to puke but then low and behold i got some song stuck in my head and i forgot all about it, but while i had been drinking those warm modelos i had gotten that nurse from the phantom of liberty - which to be sure i hadn't seen in years - stuck in my head, i started thinking about her caught out in the rain and i couldn't remember if she'd been driving a car or riding a bike but i guess when i was drinking those modelos, that nurse was on a bike and she was lost in the rain and i was playing cards with myself and tapping little riddims on an old oak table and i was feeling good and just old enough to realize that life goes on, to see myself as some future me sitting drunk at some late night mass and missing myself more than ever... i was sitting in the hollywood hawaiian hotel, i was listening to the air conditioner hum... it went "mmm oooh ahhhhh ooo"...