DAY OFF PART TWO

PLAYED OUT, BUT WE JUST WATCHED MALLRATS AT WORK!

AND WADDAFUXUP WITH THE LACK OF BELLY VIDZ ON YOUTUBE??

WHAT YEAR IS IT??

ANXIETY

WOKE UP AT THREE FIFTY THINKING ABOUT MY PENMANSHIP...

SUNDAY MORNING

I MEANT TO POST THIS A FEW MONTHS BACK... STEVE GOT ME INTO IT AFTER WE HEARD HIM DROP A DIAMOND D REF ON A BLACK SHEEP CUT AND FOUND OUT THE KID WAS LIKE, TWELVE AND HANGING WITH QUEEN LATIFAH AT THE TIME.

IT'S BEEN A MELLOW SUNDAY SO FAR, I SMOKED A JOINT AND LISTENED TO EASTER AND WL/WH I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN OUT OF BED YET. GOD BLESS CALIFORNIA. I MISS SO MANY FRIENDS, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN BUT OK, OK, OK, OK.

MEDITATION ON BAND BROS.

I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT LATELY... I REALLY JUST WANT TO BE IN A BAND. IT SEEMS LIKE WHEN YOU'RE IN A BAND, YOU GET TO HAVE A LOT OF FUN WITH YOUR BROS, CREATING KICK ASS MUSIC AND INSIDE JOKES. SEEMS LIKE IF I WAS IN A BAND, PEOPLE WOULD AUTOMATICALLY THINK I WAS A COOL DUDE. I COULD DRESS A LITTLE FUNKIER THAN I DO NOW (BEEN WEARING A LOT OF BIG SHIRTS + NORMAL JEANS). I WANT TO CREATE SOME MEANINGFUL ART THAT IS REPRESENTATIVE OF WHO I AM NOW THAT I AM APPROACHING MY MID-TWENTIES. I WANT TO BE COOLER SO I CAN MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE THAT AREN'T AS COOL AS I AM. I WANT TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY AND BUY SOME COOL, DIFFERENT PAIRS OF SUNGLASSES. I WANT A COOL HOUSE WITH STUFF FROM THE Z GALL INSIDE. I WANT PEOPLE TO "KNOW" WHO I AM WHEN I GO TO SEE ANOTHER BAND PLAY. I LIKE HEARING PEOPLE WHISPERING BEHIND THEIR HANDS. I WANT SOMEBODY TO DO SOMETHING/EVERYTHING FOR ME. I WANT TO GO ON TOUR AND BOND WITH MY BROS AND EAT SHITTY FOOD AT GAS STATIONS AND UPDATE MY FB/TWIT/BLOG ABOUT THE SIMPLE BEAUTY OF AN IOWA SUNSET. I WANT TO FINGERBANG A FAN. I WANT TO BE AUTHENTIC. I WANT TO RELEASE MY MUSIC ON THE VINYL. I WANT TO SOMEHOW RECAPTURE MY YOUTHFUL MEMORIES OF BEING TOUCHED BY BANDS (FIGURATIVELY?). I WANT TO MUSICALLY CAPTURE THE ZEITGEIST OF THE PRE-10s. I WANT TO CARE ABOUT THE WORLD + BIG ISSUES THAT RADIOHEAD WORRIES ABOUT. I WANT A BIG CELEB GOSSIP SITE LIKE THE PARIS HILTON'S BLOG TO WRITE ABOUT SEEING ME OUT ON THE TOWN EATING SOME NOODLES. I WANT PETE WENTZ TO TWIT ME BACK. I WILL SETTLE FOR ANY GOSSIP SITE THAT WILL TALK ABOUT ME. I WILL READ THE GOSSIP SITES DAILY AND I WILL KNOW WHO KNOWS WHO I AM. LIFE IS ABOUT BEING KNOWN. I WANT TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. LIFE IS ABOUT HAVING YOUR PICTURE TAKEN. LIFE IS ABOUT MAKING OTHERS FEEL LESS COOL. LIFE IS ABOUT BEING THERE FOR YOUR BROS, BUT ALWAYS KNOWING WHEN IT'S TIME TO STEP IN AND SHOW SOMEONE UP. IS LIFE DETERMINED BY FOLLOWERS ON THE TWIT? OR IS IT STILL MEASURED IN MYSPACE FRIENDS? DO BANDS HAVE FACEBOOKS EVEN? WILL I EVER SELL OUT THE EDGE AND CAVE IN TO THE TEMPTATIONS OF DRUGS/ALCOHOL/WEED? WILL MY BAND EVER LAND THAT "BIG TOUR" THAT WILL TURN US INTO THE NEXT COLDPLAYS? IF AN ALBUM IS RECORDED AND NOBODY LEAKS IT -- DOES IT MAKE A SOUND?? HOW MANY DIGITALLY DOWNLOADED (BUT PAID FOR -- I RESPECT THE ARTISTS) MP3s WILL MY IPHONE HOLD? WILL IT BE ENOUGH FOR A TWO WEEK TOUR? WILL I EVER CHEAT ON MY GIRLFRIEND JUST TO GET THAT AUTHENTIC "ON THE ROAD" EXPERIENCE? WILL I READ ONE BOOK (ON THE ROAD) FOR HOWEVER LONG I TOUR FOR, OR WILL I NOT READ AT ALL AND JUST WATCH REALITY TELEVISION? IS IT STILL RELEVANT TO READ NABOKOV? OR SHOULD I JUST STICK TO THE ACCEPTABLES (BUKOWSKI/VICE BOOKS)? WILL I EVER BE HAPPY WHEN I'M OBSESSED ABOUT WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE IS THINKING (ABOUT ME)? ARE MY T-SHIRTS COOL? SHOULD I BUY A BIKE? DO I NEED A YOUTUBE ACCOUNT TO UPLOAD ZANY TOUR DOCS THAT MY FRIEND WHO WANTS TO BE A DIRECTOR SHOT / D.I.Y. VIRAL MUSIC VIDEOS LIKE THE OK GO? WILL I EVER PARTICIPATE IN A CLEVER PHOTO SHOOT? WILL I EVER GET TO CHILL IN A TOUR BUS AND MUNCH ON A SICK RIDER? ARE YOU ALLOWED TO BRING A HASH PIPE ON A FLIGHT TO EUROPE? SHOULD I STOP TAKING PILLS? AM I INTERACTING WITH MY FANS ENOUGH? AM I ACCESSIBLE? AM I NOUVEAU? AM I POST-________? AM I BETTER THAN THOSE WHO HAVE LESS MONEY + POPULARITY THAN I DO? DO I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DJ AN AFTERPARTY? AM I BUYING ENOUGH VINYL? SHOULD I JUST SAY "FUCK IT" AND GO ANALOG? IS MY ZIPPER UP? IS MY BREATH OK? IS ANYBODY THINKING ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW? SHOULD I TWIT THIS? SHOULD I LET COMFORT OR MORALITY DICTATE MY FASHION? DO I NEED HEALTHCARE? I JUST NEED SOME NEW PANTS AND A NEW SWEATER AND SOME NEW SHOES.

I WANT TO BE RELEVANT SO I'M BUYING SOME NEW CLOTHES. 

UGGGGHHHH

THE FEAR